“and to make it your ambition to live quietly and peacefully, and to mind your own affairs and work with your hands, just as we directed you, so that you will behave properly toward outsiders [exhibiting good character, personal integrity, and moral courage worthy of the respect of the outside world], and be dependent on no one and in need of nothing [be self-supporting].”
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 AMP
Many years ago, I sat across the desk from an older lady who was very distressed. In explaining her distress to me, she made a statement I had never heard before (nor have I since). She explained, “I have so much advice to give and nobody wants to take it.” Needless to say, I was dumbfounded.
Understand, I wasn’t surprised to hear that she felt that way; I knew how she dealt with family and friends. The source of my surprise was that she was self-aware enough to know that she wanted to mind everybody’s business. Yet, she wasn’t aware that it was wrong to want to mind everybody’s business. As well, she seemed to be oblivious of the connection between the hurtful statements she had a habit of saying, and the fact that nobody wanted to hear what she had to say. Indeed, nobody wanted that kind of “advice.”
Ironically, this woman was, herself, very strong-willed and was not open to advice from anyone.
Now, we may not think of ourselves as being that extreme in terms of wanting everyone to lead their lives according to our instruction. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that we aren’t preoccupied with what others are doing.
Truth be told, we may seldom voice any advice to anyone. But, we may have an inner commentary, constantly reflecting on the ways in which we would be doing this or that differently, than those around us: family, friends, yes, even strangers.
As well, even if our thoughts are not specifically about what we would do differently from others, dwelling on other people’s lives in any way, is toxic.
Of course, we are not referencing here discipleship relationships where godly counsel and instruction are necessary elements. I think we all know the difference between that, and being nosy and hypercritical concerning what others are doing.
As we hear in our opening scripture, we should focus on our own ways of being and doing that may not be pleasing to the Lord. Yes, we best keep our eyes on our own business, not neglecting the areas in which the Lord wants to continue to grow us up, mature us, or change us.
Given, it is tempting to dwell on the, “if I were they” scenarios, but it’s not pleasing to the Lord, and it’s not good for us.
Let’s ask the Lord to forgive us for being—in any way—a busybody. As well, let’s ask Him to help us to do what is actually helpful to others: praying for them, and, when the opportunity arises, offering them the Word as a source of encouragement and direction. After all, that nose was meant to smell the roses, not to sniff the Joneses.
Peace to you.
Jesus is coming! Get ready for Him!
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